


to be understood

by annejumps



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: Still Have Powers, Charles Always Says the Absolute Worst Thing He Could Possibly Say, Deaf Character, Deaf!Erik, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 11:08:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9068980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annejumps/pseuds/annejumps
Summary: Charles curses his not understanding sign language, but he can pick up what Erik’s asking: What did you just do to me?





	

It all happens very quickly.

Erik, having looked both ways, approaches the crosswalk. It’s a somewhat perilous intersection, occurring just after a corner, but he’s got his wits about him—

Someone launches themselves at him from behind, wraps their arms around his waist and pulls him back, just before an ambulance, lights flashing, careens past. 

But that’s not what’s shocking.

His head is filled with a flood of unbearable stimuli, and he has no idea how it’s happened.

\-------

“No no no no no!” Charles shouts, hauling the tall, slender man backward just as the ambulance zooms past. In his panic, his telepathic abilities get a bit out of control, bleeding over into the man’s mind; the man stiffens in shock.

“Sorry, sorry,” Charles tells him, but there’s something unusual about the man—he’s not registering what Charles is saying. Charles does a quick scan, still holding him upright because the man remains still with surprise. His name is Erik, he’s a mutant, and he can’t hear Charles speaking. He couldn’t hear the ambulance. He can’t hear anything.

“Are you—” _Are you all right?_ Charles asks, turning the man—Erik—around in his arms. He’s strikingly handsome, with intense green-gray eyes. He’s still staring at Charles, flabbergasted. Creasing his brow, he signs something at him, his gestures emphatic, as if he’s angry or at least impatient. Charles curses his not understanding sign language, but he can pick up what Erik’s asking: _What did you just do to me?_ Referring not to the surprise manhandling, but to the intrusion of his mind.

 _I’m a telepath_ , Charles tells him. _I can read minds. I have a mutation, like you_. It seems that Erik has never encountered another mutant.

Erik’s eyebrows leap up and he goes a bit green around the gills. Then, however, he gets a dark flush on his cheeks and ears. He thinks forcefully at Charles that if Charles knows he’s a mutant, he knows that he has the power to sense and move ferrous metals, and that therefore he’d have been safe from being hit by that ambulance. 

_It was happening too quickly_ , Charles argues, shaking his head. _You wouldn’t have had enough time to get out of the way_. Erik’s frown increases, and he protests that that doesn’t make sense. He hadn’t stepped into the street yet.

They must look very strange now, Charles thinks as he lets Erik go at last, touching his fingertips briefly to his temple to turn the attentions of the people around them to something else other than the men staring intensely at each other in a silent argument right before the zebra crossing.

 _Let me buy you a coffee_ , Charles presses to him. 

Erik nods, accepting the offer of coffee, and fortunately, there’s a cafe on the next corner.

It’s interesting, Charles reflects as they fumble through communicating over their cups (although the fumbling is mostly on Charles’ side; Erik seems to have adapted more quickly). With Erik having been deaf all his life, Charles is better off sending images and feelings—ideas, really, since that’s more how Erik’s thinking (when he’s not thinking in signs, which Charles can’t immediately decipher). Although obviously Erik knows what words look like, and sending images of words is a possibility, Charles’ telepathy usually manifests as a voice. But Erik has never heard a voice speaking words to him, and it’s a wonder he didn’t pass out, actually, from suddenly having Charles doing it.

 _Does it bother you, hearing my voice in your head?_ Charles asks. He “speaks” but simultaneously “shows” him the words and the overall concept he’s expressing. It’s tricky, but doable. He may well have a headache later this evening, but it’s all so fascinating that he isn’t really bothered. This is a rare opportunity, and Erik is so interesting.

Erik shrugs. _It’s a bit annoying, but I think I’ve gotten used to it_.

Charles can’t help but laugh.

\-------

Erik’s incredibly presumptuous and nosy life-saver, Charles, happens to be very good looking, and intelligent. But the fact that he’s different is more important to Erik. As they sit at a small table in the corner of the cafe, Erik has his notebook out to write down his questions (he doesn’t speak) but it turns out it’s easier for Charles to just pull the questions from his mind and answer them directly into it.

 _Are there more of us?_ is Erik’s first question.

Charles smiles, and it’s lovely. _Many more of us. We can do wonderful things_. He sends Erik images of people flying, changing shapes, moving things with their minds. 

_I knew it_ , Erik thinks at him. _I knew there had to be more of us_.

 _We’ve got a local group_ , Charles tells him. _I’m the chairman, we meet at my place. You should come_.

Erik wiggles his fingers, asking if any of them can sign. Frowning, Charles shakes his head. _I don’t think so, but maybe? We can write everything down for you, or record it and make a transcript. Can you read lips?_ Erik can (and he wouldn’t at all mind watching Charles speak at great length; he’s got a very attractive mouth, Erik reflects, burying the thought just in case Charles can catch it) but he’d much prefer signing. 

Charles bites his lip, looking contrite. _I’d still like you to come. I think it could be very beneficial. I can act as a conduit for you_. He takes Erik’s notebook and writes the information down, along with his phone number and email address.

Charles has to leave—he’s a professor, and he’s got a class starting shortly—but before he departs, Erik gets his total attention and signs “thank you” at him, which he easily understands. Thanks for the coffee, but also for dragging him out of the street. Even though, of course, it wasn’t necessary.

Charles is beaming as he tells him goodbye, Erik watching his lips.

\-------

Erik texts him later that evening, saying he’d like to attend the meeting. Charles is delighted, and replies saying so. He’d been a bit worried, thinking about Erik living his life not knowing that there were other mutants. He’s thirty-two, and that’s a long time to go thinking of oneself as alone. Of course, Erik also mentions a Deaf culture group he’s involved in, so at least he has that. Charles finds himself wondering why Deaf was capitalized, and a Google search shows him that there’s an entire subculture of Deaf people, of varying types. It’s fascinating, and he loses some time reading until he realizes how late it is.

The few days until the meeting find Charles looking forward to seeing Erik again. Really, he ought to ask him out properly. The man is incredibly interesting and arrestingly attractive.

At the meeting are, as usual, Raven, Angel, Alex, Armando, and Hank. They each demonstrate (well, as much as they can, without destroying the flat) their powers for Erik, whose eyes are wide as he silently observes them. Charles can’t help laughing at the look on his face when Raven transforms into a copy of Charles and then into a copy of Erik right before his eyes. Angel flutters around the room, Alex and Armando explain the explosive and impressive things they can do as Erik carefully reads their lips, and Hank hangs upside down from the ceiling. 

Then it’s Erik’s turn, and they all watch as Erik floats the paper clips from a jar on Charles’ desk, spinning them slowly in the air above his palm before twisting them into an elegant spiral. Erik seems to think it’s an embarrassingly simple, almost childish display of his abilities, but Charles can’t stop smiling, and he’s thrilled when Erik floats the little sculpture over to him, as a present. Charles ignores the others’ knowing smirks.

He decides he is going to ask Erik out properly after all. 

\-------

After his Deaf group meeting, Erik receives a text from Charles, asking him to dinner. Erik immediately replies to accept, and starts looking forward to the weekend.

The restaurant is a very nice one, not one that Erik’s been to but one with a reputation he’s aware of. No surprise, really; Charles is wealthy. Erik doesn’t care about displays of material wealth, but he understands that Charles wants to impress him, and that’s certainly fine with him. Erik usually dresses nicely anyway, but he wears one of his nicer suits (no tie) for this occasion.

 _Erik!_ Charles says into his mind when he sees him outside the restaurant, happy. Erik takes a moment to marvel at that—that’s what his name “sounds” like. It’s still so odd having the presence of someone else in his mind; he wonders what it’s like for a hearing person, whether they’re more bothered than he is. He supposes there’s really no way to know. 

They must look strange to the diners around them, sitting silently, smiling at each other between bites, but Erik doesn’t care; let them gawk, if they even notice. When they’re not actually having a telepathic discussion, Erik lets Charles idly explore his thoughts, like being in a certain room of a library, perusing the books. He’s very content to do so, within the parameters Erik sets for him (it seems he has somewhat of a natural barrier against telepathy and can set boundaries, something which seems to fascinate Charles). 

Charles stumbles across a cache of memories Erik has of his mother making all sorts of treats for various Jewish holidays, and seems to regard these particular memories with delight. In fact, Charles’ default setting when it comes to Erik seems to be delight. He’s also fascinated to learn that Erik’s parents were both part of the Deaf community. They moved to the States when Erik was young, which is why he knows American Sign Language and not German.

Although they met at the restaurant, Charles offers to get a cab for them both, and then casually asks Erik if he wouldn’t like to stop by his flat for coffee and a further exploration of some research Charles has been working on, regarding genetics and mutations. Erik accepts, of course.

Erik waits for Charles to kiss him, and is amused that it takes a cup of coffee each, a half-hour discussion of the research, and an entire game of chess before Charles finally gets up and gets in his lap. It seems Charles wanted to do this as soon as he got Erik in his flat, but his sense of propriety said to wait, which Erik finds hilarious.

Once things do get started, they quickly escalate to Charles’ bed. It is nothing short of incredible to touch and kiss Charles and to feel in his mind what Charles is feeling at the same time. Erik can’t hear moans, but he can feel the vibrations they produce, especially when he’s got his palm on the side of Charles’ neck or when Charles’ mouth is on his skin, but more interestingly, Charles’ powers let him know what Charles is feeling when he moans (or does anything else), which is, presumably, better than just hearing it. Regardless, hearing it seems superfluous. 

Knowing that Erik can’t hear him, Charles, who according to himself is usually a talker, focuses on visual cues and tactile aspects as much as he can, which means that Charles is looking directly at him most of the time with his very expressive and very blue eyes, and constantly touching him, leaving Erik almost overwhelmed under his attentions, even without factoring in the telepathy.

It’s glorious.

\-------

They spend the next weekend almost entirely in Erik’s bed at his flat. Charles gets firsthand experience with Erik’s special vibrating and flashing alarm clock, and then they moon at each other over coffee in Erik’s kitchen, though Charles doubts Erik would think of it like that. 

When they part ways, Charles is fairly sure he’s falling in love. But he doesn’t know if Erik’s seeing other people or even really interested in a relationship right now, because he hasn’t given in to the urge to snoop. When Erik asks him to lunch during the week, Charles accepts, thinking that he’ll ask what Erik’s looking for right now. 

Just before he shuts down his laptop to leave after watching a lecture, he catches sight of a video in his YouTube sidebar, with a baby receiving a cochlear implant and hearing his mother’s voice for the first time. Does Erik know about these? He has to. Yet for some reason, he hasn’t got them. It occurs to Charles that perhaps they’re too expensive and that’s why Erik doesn’t have them.

 _Erik_ , he asks as he sits down across from him at the deli before they even properly greet each other, _have you ever heard of cochlear implants?_ He can’t help projecting a bit of excitement.

And Erik’s face shutters. He nods, curtly.

 _Can you not afford them?_ Charles asks, wincing. He’s hit a sore spot.

Erik’s face gets even darker. _I could if I wanted them_ , he sends pointedly, signing at the same time, fingers moving rapidly.

 _Why wouldn’t you want them?!_ Charles asks, astonished. _You could hear! You could—_

 _Be normal?_ Erik supplies, standing. Oh dear. This has somehow gotten out of hand.

Charles stands as well, shaking his head. _No, Erik, I just meant— I wanted to— If it would help—_

 _It wouldn’t_. Erik turns on his heel and leaves the deli. Charles stares after him, too shocked to respond.

When he gets home, he researches “cochlear implants.” And then he understands. 

For whatever reason, he hadn’t come across this in his reading earlier, or he hadn’t understood what he was looking at, but it seems many Deaf people reject the very concept of cochlear implants, thinking them completely unnecessary, as they’re already living just fine without hearing. Additionally, they don’t work for everyone, and the surgeries don’t always go well. 

But it’s not unlike someone telling Charles he’d be so much better off if he weren’t a mutant. It’s something Charles has thought about before and struggled with at times, certainly, but it’s not an appropriate suggestion for someone else to make. He wouldn’t want someone else to cheerfully tell him he ought to “fix” himself.

He’s unwittingly insulted Erik, possibly quite deeply.

He texts Erik. _I’m so sorry. I didn’t know_.

Erik doesn’t reply until four days later, via email.

_Charles,_

_Being Deaf is part of who I am, and I don’t want to change it. It’s how I’ve always been. I thought you understood this about me—surely you of all people would be able to grasp this._

_Erik_

Charles isn’t sure if he’s supposed to reply, but he does anyway. _Erik, please let me make it up to you. Let me know where to meet you. Please. I’m sorry._

He doesn’t get an answer until three more days have passed, when Erik tersely suggests the cafe.

\-------

Erik did happen to mention he’d been seeing a hearing person to his Deaf group, and they expressed skepticism and doubt. A hearing person, they reminded him, could never truly understand what it was like to be Deaf. 

Erik still keeps to himself the fact that Charles is a telepath, just like he hasn’t told the Deaf group that he’s a mutant (he’s been planning to, since it bothers him to keep this from them, but he’s never sure how to broach the subject). They were accepting of his being bisexual, which was a good thing, as he’d have left the group without a second glance otherwise, but being a mutant somehow seems like a more difficult topic. He’s not ashamed of it, but explaining to even these trusted people that he’s more or less a human magnet would seem to demand a demonstration, and who knows how they’d react to that?

Of course, he doesn’t tell them the man he’d been seeing had suggested he get cochlear implants. He’d only get pity and “I told you so” in return. 

Waiting for Charles at the cafe, Erik doesn’t have high expectations for their meeting, and is more or less resigned to Charles explaining why implants are a good idea until Erik gets tired of it and leaves.

He doesn’t expect Charles to be walking toward him signing _Hello_ , and then _I’m sorry_.

Erik waits, hiding his surprise. Charles sits down.

Clearly thinking hard about it, a bit clumsy as he does it, Charles signs what amounts to _I’m dreadfully sorry for offending you. I was trying to help, but now I understand I was out of line_. He doesn’t use his telepathy at all that Erik can tell—he’s honestly just trying to communicate with Erik in ASL. He could have dipped into Erik’s mind to learn what he needed to say, but it seems he’s done his homework and memorized this instead.

Erik nods. 

Charles continues, clearly thinking yet more about how to say this. _I hope you can forgive me. I like you very much_.

Taking out his notepad, Erik also retrieves a pencil, and scribbles. _I need you to accept me for who I am, Charles. As I accept you_.

Reading the note, Charles nods, and goes a bit pink. Evidently the thought of being accepted for who he is presents an unexpected thrill for him. Charles isn’t open about being a telepath, for various practical and professional reasons, and Erik knows he’s wrestled with it. He’s taken for granted not being fully accepted. 

That, Erik thinks, is something he can give Charles.

Charles takes Erik’s hand, and kisses his knuckles. _I like watching you sign. I love your hands, Erik_ , he thinks at him. 

Erik can’t not smile at that. _I love your voice_ , he thinks at him, teasing in tone, but he does mean it. _Of course, it’s the only one I’ve ever heard_ , he adds.

 _It is_ , Charles agrees, smiling widely, seemingly a bit in awe of that fact, and Erik thinks he might actually be tearing up. _I’m sorry_ , Charles signs again, and Erik nods again. He takes up his pencil.

 _I hope you won’t have to sign that to me too often in the future_ , he writes, and smiles at Charles, who, laughing, takes the pencil to write _I’ll do my best_ under that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [alexavindr](http://archiveofourown.org/users/alexavindr) for reading this over!


End file.
